Assez compliquer

"People will forget all of the good things you've done for them, for the one thing you did wrong"

You'll always see people quote stuff like that on Facebook status, Tumblr and Twitter especially. Believe me, that quote is only valid on people who are less close to you. It never happens to your best friends especially to your significant other or ex-boy/girlfriend. It's gonna be vice-versa. I mean, how can you forget all the things your loved ones have done for you and all the memories you've made together? Even if they've committed loads of mistakes, you know at the end of the day, you'll forgive them right? Unless you're a cold-hearted bishh. Look at those people who aren't over their ex yet. Despite all the shitty things their ex did to them that might be the cause for their break up at the first place (including cheating), deep inside their heart, they're still hoping to get back together again. Let me put it this way for you. Have you ever had a huge fight with your bestie or your bf/gf that made you feel like you never want to talk to them or even see their face ever again? But a week or two after that, you'll start reminiscing your past with them, you'll start reading old texts, looking at photographs of you together and start crying a river, every night before you sleep. You'd be lying your ass off if you say that isn't true. No matter how bad they treat you, and no matter how hard you try to exclude them from your life, you know you're not going to succeed. It will take three million years, three gallons of tears and determination to make that happen. Sometimes, being cold-hearted is better than having to confront all the heartaches that you never thought you could even bear with. Feelings are complicated and people are unpredictable. You can't always use logic and you can't always follow your heart. That's how sad and strange we all are.

Losing grip

"'Cause lately I've been tired and uninspired"

I was reading my old blogposts, just felt like going down the memory lane and I realized that I have changed. I realized how passive and dull I am now compared to the year 2009-2011, like seriously. The way I talk/write is different too. Have I turned into that boring uncreative person? I'm not saying that I was creative before, I never was. But at least, by judging my old blogposts, I was more cheerful and perky. I was a funny person too, I was hilarious! Okay that might sound exaggerative but at least to me it's true lah heh. Okay this makes me sad. Y'know the feeling you get when you realized that you lived a better life before? Yeah, I'm having that feeling right at this moment. I hope we could turn the clock 4 or maybe 9 years back and be able to start over. Not to erase the things I wish I didn't do, but to re-live the happy life I once had. How I wish...

Haha I noticed how contradictory the title of this post and the previous one are.

Getting back on track

Let's skip the whole sorry-for-not-updating-this-abandoned-blog-for-three-million-years part, shall we?

I haven't write for so long my English is getting rusty gahhh! The only disadvantage of learning French is your level of English will drop from time to time. A lecturer of mine when I was doing my preparation in IPBA once told me that he was an English teacher before he was offered a French program and even he himself admits that now he sometimes have trouble with English. The problem is, French and English have so many similar words but they never have the same definition. A simple example I can give you is the word "Retard". No that's not a curse word for the french people, na'ah. In French, retard means late. I just gave you an obvious example out of gazillion words that French and English have in common! Not just that, the order of the words in a sentence is completely different. In this case, Bahasa can relate more to French compared to English. You see, this whole thing is so confusing! I'm still trying to get the hang of everything *sigh* It can be really troublesome sometimes tho. I mean, I'm so used to mix Bahasa and French when I communicate with my friends here and when I communicate with my family and my other friends who don't speak French, I can be at a loss for words for so many many times. There were even times when I had to google translate a French word to English or Bahasa. And it can be discouraging sometimes, 'cause I tend to not finish my sentence when I can't find the right word to say, 'cause the french word keep popping out of my head. I don't know whether to consider that as a good thing or a bad thing. My french is not even that good -.- Anywhooo, I need to write more and read more in order to prevent my English from vanishing into thin air haha. Bye!

Oh btw, je te souhaite une bonne et heureuse année 2013!

A song for you

When you said your last goodbye, 

I died a little bit inside.

I lay in tears in bed all night,

Alone without you by my side.

 

Hey MTV, welcome to my crib.

Waddup guys? It's been awhile since I last updated my blog. It's so dusty now and it needs some serious cleaning! So I've promised to some friends that I'll be posting up some pictures of my current room. Now that DALF C1 is over, I finally get the chance to fulfill my promise. I know I'm like, 3 months late, so sorry about that, but hey, better late than never right? ;)

So bienvenue to my room, my sanctuary.

My body and soul are devoted to that desk now. This is where I spend most of my time, just sitting there for hours, either playing with the computer or studying. Or singing along with my guitar.

I sometimes hate the fact that the fridge is so so near to my bed. It's the main reason why I gained some pounds for the last three months. Whenever I feel hungry, I can just grab something out of the fridge without leaving the bed. It's that easy -.-"

This is for sure, one of my favourite parts of the room. It completely shows the girly side of me lol

Thanks Maul for those Rubi earrings and thanks Ayu for the Diva ones. I'll be wearing 'em every time I think of you guys ♥

Yeah it's the ring. The ring that was stucked on my middle finger for five torturing days. The ring that I spent two hours of cutting and scissoring to get it off my finger. It was the day I've sworn myself that I'll never ever put a ring on my middle finger ever again. Ever.

I, who never sleep alone before, am sleeping alone now. The scaredy cat is no longer scared anymore :p

The room is just 9 meter squared yet comfy and enough for me, but the monthly rent is slightly higher than what it's worth tho. So I'm gonna move out with my friends, to a new apartment, maybe around March like that. And I'll definitely make another post about my future room :D

Till then.

Look at the bright side.

I've always wanted to attend a normal high school instead of a boarding school.

I've always wanted to go to a private university.

Because I wanted to live that kind of life, y'know.

But, 

If I didn't go for boarding school, I wouldn't stand a chance to learn french.

If I didn't learn french, of course I wouldn't get into this program.

If I didn't get into this program, I wouldn't be a scholar and go to France to study.

I wouldn't be here, right now.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

What could be the blessing in disguise?

I've figured out that if I attended a normal high school, with that much of freedom,

I could've been influenced by lots of . . bad stuffs, y'know.

I'm not that strong, I can be influenced easily I have to admit.

So I could've done so many things beyond the limit, could've committed lots of sins.

But by attending boarding school, I was protected from all of these possibilities.

Plus, I heard being a teacher dapat banyak pahala.

If the students apply the knowledge we gave 'em, dapat pahala.

If they pass the knowledge to someone else, dapat pahala some more.

And if that someone applies it too, dapat pahala.

So I thought, that could cover up some of the sins I've comitted.

I knowww, that will never be enough as the sins I've comitted are like,

98765432123456789 times bigger than the pahala I'll get.

But at least, that's something. Better than nothing, right?

So what I'm trying to say here is ;

GOD HAS BIGGER PLANS FOR YOU

Be grateful.